When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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