Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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