How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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