take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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