i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
