She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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