the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
