I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
