I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
