Don't you send me to vm
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
