he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
do herpes really smell.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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