You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Ketchup is God's man juice
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
