sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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