i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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