She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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