Cold hands, warm shart.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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