i wish my penis had a tongue
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
