If that was your dad, he is hot
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
