i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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