How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
