The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize