Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
