Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
