Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
