do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
