we have officially mastered the walk of shame
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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