i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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