I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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