he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
