pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
