is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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