SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
This toilet bowl is my home.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
