I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
