you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
