My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
