Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
