Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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