I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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