He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
