PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
