My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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