Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
