I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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