dude i'm inner monologue high
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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