Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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