He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
