Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
