**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
