I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You made out with two different species that night
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
