He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
