Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
