I can tuck mytits in my pants
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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