Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
