Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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