similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
